Here is a way, to express your anger in a powerful healthy manner.
First we have to understand the need of expressing anger in a healthy manner.
Why ? Repression is the opposite of Expression. Repressed anger is one of the most dangerous emotions to be sitting and boiling inside your body and mind. It can give rise to many physical illnesses and mental distress. People that repress their feelings of anger usually are people that are said to be ‘very easy going’. They agree (outwardly) with everything and never set boundaries. They never get upset and you will find it hard to argue with them. However, also these people have a certain limit for containing their emotions and at some point they will ‘explode’ and suddenly burst out, or suddenly make a seemingly unexpected decisions such as breaking up a relationship without giving any signals before, or suddenly quit their job, or very unexpectantly burst out in complaints and sum up everything little thing that has been bothering them for a very long time.
Being the other person involved it is obviously hard to deal with a situation like this and can be painful also. So this person has been feeling like this and this for such a long time, I have been hurting this person with my behaviour and I didn’t have an opportunity to change? Also, people that tend to repress their anger can fall into depression more easily than others, for they tend to self blame.Not expressing emotions usually is compensated with worrying a lot which costs heaps of energy. At the other extreme this people are also prone to self harm as a way of releasing some emotions and energy.
So what to do when you actually feel anger coming up when you feel kind of out of control and are afraid to hurt someone with your words.
The best way to express your feeling in a very good way, to release the intemnse emotional energy is to engage in some vigorous physical activity. This can be anything from actively dancing to vigorously sweeping the floor. (For outdoor people cutting wood, or digging a hole in the found or working out in the gym etc. are all great way to enegage in the physical.)
For some it works to actually more actively release the anger by screaming and shouting, but you want to be sure that you have a place then where you can do so without upsetting others (your children neighbors etc.) and where you feel really free to express yourself. While you do so be very aware – don’t just go in to dancing, cleaning, screaming but keep an eye on your thoughts and thought processes – in other words don’t drown yourself in your emotion.
By doing this you prevent building up negatively charged emotions in your physical and mental bodies. Also you will have created space and time for yourself to actually look at your emotions in a detached manner. Why are you feeling angry, Is it a realistic response to the situation ?
After this stage of releasing and observing your emotions you might want to just sit down quietly or make a short walk to sort out your thoughts and find a way to bring this into a conversation with yourself first and with the other if there was another person involved in evoking your feelings. Sometimes you will find out all it was needed was to work it out with yourself and the conversation with another is far more calmer and ralistic minus the unnecessary emotional drama and the sturm and drang. Most important though is that you didn’t ignore your emotion but worked with it. You felt it coming and you helped processing it in a healthy way.
What do you think ? Do you agreee ? Is there another way you have found which has helped you in better expressing your emotions? Please let me know the comments below.